Been Awhile

Hello,
 It's been awhile since I have blogged. So many thoughts have been running through my brain right now. I am wondering how to process things and how best to handle the situations that have risen up in  my life lately. I am extremely puzzled with the meaning of friendships. What is a friendships? How do u make them last? How do keep friends? All of these questions and I wish that someone would could give me the answers I am looking for.  If you the answers I would appreciate you letting me know. Thanks

How come Friendships hurt??

As I sit here writing this. I have realized that it is possible that I have hurt a friend. And the sad thing is I HAVE to say BUT.. She has hurt me as well.
What do you do when you have said " I am sorry" one too many times. Or you have had one too many "drama issues." that you so didn't want to drag her into but it happens.
 You weren't there when they need you, but yet they seem to have moved on to another person and shut you out. It is like a tennis ball on a tennis court at the U.S. Open. Sometimes all you can do is throw your hands up and pray.
 I am giving this friendship to you Lord, I have given to you so many times. I just don't know what to do anymore. I wish that somehow, someway we could start over. Hi, My name is.... Nice to meet you? Have you ever wanted a "do-over" the problem with life is that you don't get "do-overs" and unlike God. Some people just won't forget or let go.
I hope that at some point my friend forgives me. And I her...

Hope.. What a gift...

HOPE.. It is a word not many of us hear of these days. It is a word that for some might not be in their vocabulary. I have discovered that HOPE is a gift. A gift from a mighty GOD. Because without it, life would be even more unbearable at times.
People have HOPE that the Lord will meet their physical,financial, and emotional needs, Those who have sick loved ones, look for the silver lining in the clouds, or with the cup half full instead of half empty. Those who are looking for God to provide financially, HOPE that they will make the mortage payment or rent. They know that their is HOPE but in the midst of all the emotions and needs how do you find it.
 I have learned that the best way to find HOPE is to turn to GOD. Because he will hand you the present of HOPE in ways you can not even imagine. And once you receive this present, it is a blessing to have. Now don't get me wrong sometimes we misplace this gift. But God is ALWAYS gracious to help us find it again.
May the Lord Bless you all with HOPE today and tomorrow,

Why?

I am sitting here. Thankful for my new job. What a journey that was. I am thankful that MY GOD has taken care of me and loves me. I am adjusting to a new routine this week and I have realized that the one thing I have missed is my Quiet Time with the LORD. I had it today and my day felt complete. I was up WAY too early this morning and had the time, and God gave me the strength. And now my heart is crushed. I realize that I have made mistakes, but why can't they ever be forgiven and why can't some old habits just die. Why?? How come the more I make progress the or whatever I stumble. I want victory over this one thing. Why can't I get it? Just this one thing, the one thing that has destroyed so much.. The one thing that I want COMPLETE victory over.. How and why is it not coming??? What else do I need to do???
And why can't this friend of mine just be honest and tell me how they feel? I have done everything from "mothering" them to back off from that and "supporting" them like they asked me too and for what. To be told that my actions show I don't care about them. I put up with them belittling me and being hurtful to me and trying to show them I care and it gets me NOTHING. I just really want to know if something happened to me. What they would do? Is that bad? Is it bad to want to know if they really care or not? I wish I could have an answer these ???'s I have given them to GOD and I am waiting for the answers... Please if you read this just pray... I wish that I knew.. And could have victory that people would see me as a child of GOD and that I can regain the trust that is necessary.

God's Answers

Have you ever asked God the What? or the How? but instead have u ever asked "where". I had been displaced or laid off from my job in June. I had searched all summer and sent out lots of resumes, had three job interviews, and was starting to get physically sick about what to do. I finally decided to just go to GOD and say instead what do u want me to do. WHERE do u want me to go. I was realizing how much I was going to miss the people that I had spent 2 years getting to know. And then the call came, the call that I wasn't expecting. The call from the principal where I worked before. "I have a position for you if you want it." Are you serious I said. Yes, you have to wait for the call from Central Office and then you can start.
That call came on Wednesday morning. Today Friday I started back at my old school with my friends, so grateful for the job, but more thankful.. ON how GOD provided for me,and how it granted me the desire of my heart.

Encouragement

What encourages me? I would have to say at this stage in my life. I LOVE IT when God shows up and encourages me. I recently felt the need to take some "me" time and go with my Bible and my journal and sit at the local park. I also grabbed my pink lemonade, off I went. I sat among the trees on that hot afternoon and I just sat there. I began to ask God what do you want me to do? Where am I suppose to go? Show me how you want me to go? GOD directed me to the book of Colossians and as I read I started to laugh. I was reading from the Message bible and it says that ;
" just go ahead with what you have been given. You received Jesus Christ, the master now LIVE him. You're deeply rooted in HIM. You're well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you have been taught. SCHOOL'S OUT. Quit studying the subject and start LIVIN it!
Colossians 2:6-7 (message)
SO that is how I feel encouraged. Just livin life with God.
I hope that encourages someone today. Have a blessed day

The Storms Of Life..

Storms... They come in all sorts of different shapes, sizes, even different kinds of weather.. Snow, sleet, rain, tornados, hurricanes.
We had a storm here late last night into the early morning. It actually was really loud and bright. I thought for a minute there that God was trying to get my attention. I asked him what and said I was scared and then buried my head undercovers. Isn't that how it always is? When we get scared we bury our heads. I have wanted to bury my head for a while now. I have no job, it's not a bad thing in a way it is a good thing. I actually did my job the right way and lost my job.. LOL!!! But now as I keep trying to figure out what to do next. I am actually getting a little scared.
But I am also learning that to trust God completely and I will live the life that I was meant to life.
What storms are you going through? Remember God is always here no matter what.

Livin Life

Hello,
My name is Deborah and I live in NC outside of Raleigh, I have four teenagers ranging in ages 13-18 2 girls and 2 boys. I have been married for almost 20 years to my gracious husband and I do mean GRACIOUS.
I enjoy reading and chatting on facebook. I also love going to church and am developing a new desire in soaking up all I can about GOD.
I have created this blog to hopefully meet some new and wonderful people throughout the Christian Community and to help in courage and build each other up. Feel free to leave a comment or find me on facebook.
Take care and may you live life as it was meant to be by trusting in GOD completely.
:)